Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari (Audible Version)

Happy "Snowmaggedon" everyone,

Hope you are staying warm. I finally finished Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari (audible version). Before I begin my review, lets take a brief detour and discuss audiobooks.

Growing up, I always preferred the smell and feel of paperbacks. I remember huddling under my covers with my lovingly worn copy of The Little Prince or one of the Harry Potter books, hoping my parents wouldn't come in and find out that I was still awake, and ruin my fun.

As I got older, and the age of the iPad was thrust upon us, I became used to the convenience of my Kindle app. I have downloaded tons of Kindle books. Without the popularity of Kindle, my blog wouldn't exist. As a busy student and now resident, I don't really have the time to go to the library and check out tons of books (although I will always have a fondness for libraries and I'm so sad that many of them are closing down). I also don't have the money or space in my apartment to make frequent trips to the bookstore. Kindle books are cheaper and provide me with an easy way to take my library on the go. Sadly, the busier I get, the harder it gets to sit down to read. Additionally, I spend a lot of time on the road, driving back and forth between the state that I currently live in and the state I consider my hometown. I spend tons of time in traffic. I have been also making a more concerted effort to get out of my apartment during my free time - to go out and explore, go on dates, and sign up for classes (i.e. kickboxing, which I highly recommend). All of this involves more driving or using public transportation. Audiobooks are a very convenient way to listen to books while I'm driving. Additionally, with the right narrator, my enjoyment of the book is taken to a whole new level.

I am very glad that I chose to listen to the audiobook version of Modern Romance, narrated by Aziz Ansari himself! I knew very little about Ansari before reading his book - I haven't watched any of his stand up routines, or his show "Master of None". That is about to change however, because I found him to be insanely funny and I found his book to be very relatable.

Modern Romance explores how love and what people are looking for in a relationship has changed over time, as well as why the advent of online dating has made it easier to find love in some ways, but has also made it extremely difficult.

In one early chapter, Ansari discusses his parents' arranged marriage as well as the love lives of residents at a nursing home he visits. Although the concept of arranged marriage seems so foreign to many Americans, you can see through his conversations with the nursing home residents that their marriages weren't that different. In each situation, the couples approach the relationship with a practicality that is often missing in modern relationships. Their decision on whether or not to marry is based on whether the other person is a good "fit" for reasons including upbringing, family, and personality. Not once is the concept of the "spark" mentioned. Not once is the phrase "true love" spoken. Of course, not all of these relationships can work out and by no means am I a "strong proponent" of arranged marriages. However, it is food for thought, especially when you compare it to the struggles of dating in the modern world. As someone who has been actively dating for a few years, I have to say that it is extremely aggravating for many reasons, but the main reason is because of how hard it is to predict whether a conversation will lead to a date, or whether a date/dates will lead to a worthwhile relationship.

People come up with all sorts of ridiculous dealbreakers in the modern dating world. Ansari makes fun of this when he describes a young man he interviews who doesn't think one woman is a good match because she likes a sports team that he hates. This is of course an extreme example, but in modern dating, potential couples and established couples fight over stupid things like bands or tv shows, or over a text message or post on social media. Sometimes the dealbreaker is a physical "flaw,"  i.e. the other person is too fat, too tall, too short, etc. Race, religion, occupation, etc. of course will always play a big role. And after all this, sometimes things fizzle fast and without warning for no rhyme or reason. You may connect online and have some good conversations, which never lead to a date, not because they don't like you, but because life happens and people get preoccupied. Ansari also brings up one MAJOR problem with modern dating and the use of dating apps - the fact that we have so many options. Who would settle down with one person when Tinder, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc. promise you that you can find someone hotter or smarter? These apps hold the promise of "true love" and "the one". How could any human being resist? The problem of never being completely satisfied will always be part of the human condition and thanks to this, dating has become a nightmare.

In other chapters, Ansari discusses infidelity, the concept of "ghosting" (which is when someone disappears and stops talking to you, which can happen in my experience after a few dates or a few months, but as some of the examples in Ansari's book show, can even happen after years!). He also travels to Buenos Aires where men don't take no for an answer; to Paris, where mistresses are commonplace, raising the question of whether monogamy is actually necessary for a successful relationship; and to Tokyo, where the women are becoming increasingly frustrated with the passive or "herbivore" men who require constant reassurance to work up the courage to even speak with a woman.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised at this stand up comedian's thoughtful approach to the perils of Modern Romance. The book is well-written and funny. Oftentimes, I found myself laughing nonstop at a conversation with a young single, or one of Ansari's ridiculous scenarios such as an imagined affair between his girlfriend and Tyrese Gibson, who really does have a Benihana-style restaurant in his backyard (he invited Ansari!).

My Rating:  5 stars

I look forward to reading more by Ansari, if he chooses to publish another book. In the meantime, I will be enjoying Master of None. Thanks to the Great Snowpocalypse of 2016, I binge-watched all of the episodes yesterday, and will be reviewing the show shortly, along with Meet the Patels, a movie that I didn't really like, but is worth reviewing because it hit a nerve (actually several nerves) with me, as a young South Asian woman.

Stay Tuned and Happy Reading!

-chaitime212

Book Review: Pieces Like Pottery

Hello Readers,

One of the books I read in November was Pieces Like Pottery, by Dan Buri. This is a collection of short stories about love, learning to deal with loss, and learning to forgive. Each of the stories in this anthology involves a fascinating group of characters.

The Gravesite tells the story of Mike and Lisa, a married couple trying to deal with the death of their only son. It is interesting to see how the two deal with their grief differently and how they react when new blog posts begin to appear on their son's blog. Lisa begins to think he might have somehow survived, while Mike seeks to find a more practical explanation. The story is well-crafted and well paced.

The Dominance of Nurture revolves around a man and his young son, who appears to have some handicaps. It asks us to consider the impact our choices have in our lives, and how they affect those around us. It also emphasizes the fact that much of who we are is affected by how we were raised, but at the same time, if we don't like who we are, we can fight to change it. This is a very interesting story, and I thought that the relationship between the father and his son was well written. I would like to see another story involving these two characters later in their lives.

Twenty Two was a powerful story and one of my favorites. It unfolded quite slowly and has some beautifully crafted sentences, as the author takes his time setting the scene. This story revolves around a bartender and one of his customers. Both men are struggling with grief in their own way, but while the customer is lost in his sorrow, the bartender has learned to cherish the life he does have and to accept the way that things are. At the end of the story, there is a twist, and a surprising connection between the two is revealed . It is a beautiful tale about forgiveness.

Expect Dragons is another one of my favorites in this collection. This story revolves around a young man, James, and the impact that his teacher, Mr. Smith, has in his life. Growing up, James struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality and his father's attempts to change him. His experiences  in Mr. Smith's classroom teach him to accept himself. The relationship between the two characters is well done, as are the scenes where James has to cope with the fact that his beloved teacher is very ill.

Dies Cum Anxieta describes a day in the life of someone suffering from anxiety. The language that the author has used here to describe the main character's inner monologue is well done, and as someone who has dealt with these emotions before, it is one of the more hard hitting pieces in the collection.

Father is an interesting piece about misconceptions and how bad things can sometimes happen to good people. I thought the character of Micheal Birch was well developed, as was his relationship with his brothers and with the members of his parish. While the emotions that Micheal experienced as he was going through his ordeal, and his sense of helplessness really struck a chord with me, I was left feeling a little unsatisfied, as I thought that the story ended a bit abruptly.

The Ballad of Love and Hate is a story about a couple who is going through a rocky time in their marriage. It mostly focuses on a woman, and her experiences during the couple's trial separation. She interacts with various characters, including one from an earlier story in the anthology. Each of them teaches her something about love and loss, and ultimately have a positive impact on her life and her marriage. The story is a bit long and the style of the story caused some confusion at times, but overall, I enjoyed reading it.

In sum, this was a well-written collection of short stories, about people handling grief and loss in many different ways. After reading this, I came away with a lot to think about, and I look forward to reading more of the author's works.

My Rating: 4 stars

Happy Reading, and stay tuned for my December reviews!

--chaitime212

Book Review: The Checklist Manifesto

After a long delay, I was finally able to finish The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande. 

Atul Gawande is a well-known surgeon who has written several best-selling novels on a variety of topics in Medicine. In the Checklist Manifesto, he discusses the importance of using checklists to reduce error and improve overall quality and safety. I am interested in Hospital Medicine after I complete my residency training and Quality Improvement is an important part of this job. Gawande spends a good portion of the book recounting his experiences working with the World Health Organization to develop a surgical safety checklist to be implemented in hospitals around the world. He was quite successful in this endeavor and use of this checklist led to substantial reductions in surgical error and post-op complications. Subsequently, surgical safety checklists have become the standard of care in hospitals everywhere.

While part of being a leader is being creative and thinking out of the box, when you are stuck, one should always go back to the basics. Checklists are such a simple concept, but like Gawande, I have found them to be extremely useful. When the human brain is under stress at work or in situations that are life-threatening, like those experienced by the pilots and emergency response teams in this book, it forgets even the most basic things. Checklists are there to ensure that this stress-induced memory loss does not lead to serious and sometimes fatal consequences. The reason that The Checklist Manifesto has such an impact on the reader is because, like the author's other books, it includes many stories of how checklists have saved lives in hospitals and other situations.

In the future, my goal is to use these concepts and the power of a checklist to reduce patient error and improve overall quality of care. To scoff at the use of checklists in the hospital would not be wise - I have interacted with many overwhelmed and overworked healthcare providers, whose lapses in judgement have led to infections, blood clots, heart attacks, cardiac arrests, and numerous other complications. No provider intentionally makes these mistakes, but we are only human, and it is unfortunately inevitable. All we can do is try to reduce error as much as possible, and as one can see from the results in Gawande's book, the reductions in error with the use of checklists are quite astounding.

In technical terms, the book is well written, and I think it will appeal to not only healthcare providers, but also to the general population. The author includes examples of checklists in many different fields, including but not limited to medicine, aviation, cooking, and construction. The only downside to this book, for me, is that it didn't have that "can't put down" quality that most of my favorite books have. It took me a very long time to get through the book, but once I had finished, I found it to be time well spent.

I look forward to reading more by this author. I recently bought his book, Being Mortal, regarding end of life care in the United States, and I am looking forward to starting it.

Happy Reading! Stay tuned for my other November reviews.

My Rating: 4 stars

Featured Poet/Book Review: Musings of a Madman by Adam Levon Brown

Hey guys,

For the month of September, I got to tackle something new. I had the opportunity to review a wonderful book of poems, Musings of a Madman by Adam Levon Brown. I am so happy to have had the chance to do so! I am having trouble posting a picture of the cover as I normally do, so if blogspot cooperates, I will do so later.

This collection is well written and many of the poems are simply lovely. My favorites include: Dare to Dream, Ecocide, I Can't Breathe, Star Stuff, and Cinematic Bloodbath.

The main overarching themes of this collection are the importance of love, as well as living simply and learning to coexist peacefully with others. Many of the poems in this book focus on these themes. However, the author also includes several powerful pieces about a variety of issues, including racism, classism, war, police brutality, and white privilege.

The white privilege poem was especially interesting to me. Although I am not white and have never experienced this sort of privilege, my experiences in grad school at an HBCU made me very aware of the advantages that I do enjoy. I am part of what is known as the "model minority", which refers to Asians and South Asians. We are "well educated" and expected to become researchers, healthcare providers, and engineers.

It has been many years since India gained its independence, but the impact of British rule is still felt today. I've lost count of the number of times that I have heard members of my community casually remark on how darker skin is undesirable. It hurts to hear my brown classmates and coworkers say things to my black colleagues that were undeniably insulting. When called out on it, of course, they always become defensive and angry - how could I possibly think they were racist?

Brown repeatedly brings up the point that if we stay silent, we can hardly expect things to change. I am not perfect, but I will continue to try to make those around me aware of the advantages that we have as the more favorable minority, despite the fact that our skin tone is hardly different from that of Africans and African Americans. We need to do better by using this advantage to help other persons of color who are at a disadvantage.

As I have seen repeatedly during my interactions with patients and staff during my career so far, stereotypes are incredibly harmful. Cancer, Heart Attacks, Alcoholism, Sexually Transmitted Diseases - they do not discriminate. The middle aged Caucasian man in my clinic is as likely to be abusing narcotics as the young black male. The elderly grandma may be an alcoholic. If I didn't routinely screen everyone for many of these issues, regardless of age, race, class,  level of income or education, I would not be doing my duty.

In technical terms, the book was well formatted and well edited. I only noticed a few typos. I enjoyed that poems were written in different styles - some felt more like songs while others were more intense and written in short, hard-hitting sentences. Brown switches back and forth between lighter and darker themes, which worked well. This kept me engaged and didn't allow me to become overwhelmed by the heavier subjects.

To sum up, this was a wonderful read. I would love to read more from this author!

My Rating: 4 stars

Happy reading and stay tuned for my second September book review!

-- chaitime212